The Ungrateful

Thanks for cutting me off as part of your family; honestly, that’s a blessing. I have more family than you could ever realize. It’s sad you choose to defend someone who’s been insulting and disrespectful to the grandmother who clothed you, gave you a roof over your head, fed you, and gave you money so you could live like “a princess,” as you once bragged.

While you enjoyed that luxury, she was working hard at a big hotel in San Francisco, cleaning over 30 rooms a day—sometimes more. These weren’t small rooms; some had king or queen beds, two beds, or were full suites, and penthouses, which needed to be spotless whether guests were staying or checking out.  Years of this work took a toll on her health, and we all feared losing her too soon. The cleaning chemicals, scrubbing floors, vacuuming, dusting, changing sheets just so, and scrubbing countless bathrooms—did you ever think about any of that? The answer is no, because you were selfish and only cared about what you could get from her. You never checked in to see how she was doing; it was always about money. All of you played a role in the lies, manipulations, and stories to get more from her.

Despite her health issues, she did all she could to help, yet you still claim you never asked her for anything. Your mother enabled you all to be some of the worst people imaginable.  You not only lied and manipulated us, but there were many more.  You knew exactly who they were.  Have you asked for forgiveness from those people?  Has your brother?  Have your sisters?  Stop being a coward and be truthful.

My mother sent money so you could go to school as a caregiver, and all of you asked for more so you could go abroad, yet you turned out to be disappointments. She had every right to be angry at times, but she still helped—didn’t she? Yes, she did! For her, it was never about the money; helping you was about love. She always told us to be understanding because you were there and we were here. We accepted that without complaint, but we felt bad for her because we knew you were all deceiving her.

If we added up all the money she sent you over the decades, she would be a millionaire three times over. What you didn’t seem to care about was that we, her children, had to watch her health decline. Even when she became ill, she wanted to go back to work because she knew she’d need to send money to your family. Despite you having both a father and a mother, they relied on my mom for everything. That’s a fact. This is one of the reasons my sister Jhosie disliked all of you—she even became your victim, as you well know.

The ones most taken advantage of were our mother and our younger sister, Lucy. After our mother retired, she couldn’t give you the money you needed anymore, but even when she started working again, she was still giving to help you. When she read your posts, she laughed and said, “I’d love for her to say that to me.” When I asked why, she replied, “I’ll show her receipts and my bank records. And if she’s not humiliated or embarrassed by her remarks, she really is evil….”

She also said, “That’s wonderful, she denounced you; at least you no longer have to deal with her b.s. and drama queen victim act.” You know, that sister rarely speaks, but when she does, we all listen! As for me, what you say doesn’t matter—it goes in one ear and out the other. In all the times I’ve spoken with you, I’ve never once thrown anything in your face. We discussed things, and most of it was brought up by you.

You told me, “You helped them because you didn’t know and couldn’t really do anything,” and you mentioned that your older sister was involved in the deception and manipulation, with most of the money going to her because she was the favorite. How would I know that? I’d never spoken to any of you until we connected 5 or 6 years ago. For you to say you never asked for help—how many times did you send messages to Ate Jhosie, Louie, and me on Messenger asking for money? We all have the records to prove it. It was you and your other sister, taking turns asking for money multiple times each month.

I lost interest in helping when your brother told me he didn’t need boxes sent; he only needed money. My mother was sending six boxes in total, and that’s what your brother said to me. I told my mom, and whatever decisions she and Louie made after that were up to them. If you didn’t want it, it was sent to someone else.

You are the most ungrateful person I know. You blame everyone else, yet you were always part of the problem. When my mother became ill in 1996, we forced her to retire, and against her wishes, we put our foot down and said “no more.” She had a minor heart attack, her health was deteriorating, and we didn’t want to lose her. So, all the money sent to your family—where do you think it came from? Our mother was receiving under $700 a month, not nearly enough to live on if she were alone, but because we loved her, we made sure she was provided for. The money you all swindled from her came from whose hard work? Think! You have a brain—use it from time to time, and use it for good.

Did any of you care that she had gall bladder surgery?  Did you know that she had her gout surgery?  I know you all have seen her swollen fingers that gave her so much pain.  Yes, she had that surgery, and praise God that they did not have to cut off her fingers, as they were infected.  The surgeon said, I don’t know what you did for the past week, but the infection is gone, and we were able to save her fingers.  They even told us that they might cut off her entire hand if the infections were bad.  So, financially, I was not able to assist, but helping her through those scary moments is priceless to me.  Although I could not stand the sight of blood, she had an open wound, I had to clean her fingers 4 times a day, and had to be very careful, and just seeing the inside of her fingers was making me nauseated, but I had to be strong for her.  She was my mother.

She was in the emergency room every other day or at least weekly because of a hernia. Did you know the pain she was in? Did you care? We did! It was heartbreaking to watch her suffer like that. They had to press on her stomach because the hernia was protruding, causing intense pain and constant vomiting. Imagine walking into the ER and being recognized by name—they knew us as if we lived there, rather than her being just a patient.

Did any of you lose sleep? Of course not, because all you cared about was finding new ways to manipulate her for money, too wrapped up in yourselves. Instead of working, you chose to swindle cash from your elderly grandmother, aunties, cousins, and anyone else you could take advantage of.

In 2007, I had to make a tough decision. I quit a very good job I had worked hard for, because who else would be there for our mother? It was me. If I couldn’t help anymore after that, could you not understand that I no longer had a job, and whatever savings I had needed to be stretched out? I wasn’t being paid to care for our mother, who was in the hospital two or three times a week for many reasons. Did any of you care about that?  Do your math, okay?

I know our mother raised us well. Though I was a rebellious daughter, as I grew older, I realized my mistakes, and when I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, my Lord, my life changed dramatically for the better. If you’ve heard anything negative about me, it’s likely from liars and deceivers like you. You know nothing about my life, but I know about yours.

Did you know the only reason my Ate Jhosie started speaking to you was that I told her you had changed for the better? I reminded her of this whenever I could, and she decided to give you a chance. We knew she sent you a little something, but that’s from her—it’s none of our business. Did you think for a second that we siblings don’t talk to each other? You’re wrong. When we catch up, we talk about things that…

Don’t you even feel a little bit of remorse?  We have other family members who did not receive help from anyone abroad but finished their schooling, and if not, they are still doing all they can to work.  They are not relying on their children to grow up and work to send their siblings to school.  Have some self-respect; your kids did not make each other, you made them!  If they wish to help, that is fine, but from your words, it is an obligation to you.  Do you think people do not see through that?  Shameful!

I could easily write a book about all of you, but I’ve already said what’s important. If you want to go all out and make more excuses, anyone who reads this and agrees with you is probably just like you.  Do not take life for granted.  Ask God to forgive you, and when you do, do it with the sincere heart, and He will forgive.  Your sins will be washed away, and you will be a new person!  God will never remember those sins again!  Now, it is up to you to keep yourself clean and humble.  If you continue in your ways, you will reap what you sow!

I’m grateful for my brothers and sisters in Christ, my amazing family in this world, and I even thank God for removing people from my life who don’t belong there.  Thanks to you for making that decision.

I am most grateful to God.